Words of Redemption

From time to time, I plan to post some of the poetry, short stories and journal entries I’ve written over the years and that I feel are worth sharing. This is the second such entry. For the first, click here.

Today, I want to share a poem I first wrote about ten years ago. It’s been through several revisions, the latest two at Urbis over the last several weeks.

The style is that of a Shakespearean Sonnet, which consists of three four line stanzas (with an abab cdcd efef rhyme scheme) and a couplet (with a gg rhyme scheme) which serves to resolve a conflict introduced in the three stanzas. The pacing also follows iambic pentameter, which is fancy-pants talk for the fact that the poem follows a consistent rhythmic pattern across each line and stanza.

I would love to hear any feedback you might have, good or bad, and suggestions on how to improve this piece. At the very least, I hope you like it.

Sonnet

I wish that I could take your pain away,
And put it here upon this weary heart;
To raise my head and call to God today,
To take your pain makes you of me a part.

I wish to never see a look of grief,
Except to see that guise upon myself;
Your ails I’d give a great and whole relief,
By bringing them upon my very health.

I’d wish to toss with pain all of the night,
To know that in your bed you gently lie;
To see your grief a hopeful end in sight,
Extracts from me a heaven-praising sigh.

So you and yours shall feel no pain today,
For my love would love to take your pain away.

- B

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