This post is part 2 in a series entitled Symbols of Redemption. For part 1, click here.

Last week, in part one of this series, I talked about my many incomplete journals. I admitted that I’m pretty good about coming up with new ideas and starting new things, but that I often have trouble carrying those ideas to completion.

Because this is so much a part of my personality, my journals became symbols of incompleteness beyond the blank pages themselves. They were symbols of brokenness, a lack of discipline, and all the unfinished ideas I couldn’t muster the strength to finish.

And often, those symbols led to guilt over what could have been, but wasn’t.

For some, guilt is a process of recognizing a mistake or flaw, and then taking corrective action. These days, that’s usually how I operate.

But in the Brandon Satrom era of 1997-2003, guilt was usually a prelude to pity, self-doubt and even more guilt.

I still remember those feelings. The enemy was very, very good at putting me in that place.

Any guesses on what would have been the last thing I wanted to do when I was trapped in the guilt cycle?

Write? Journal? Exactly.

Over time, the journaling slowed to a trickle, then stopped.

And then change came With another journal, in June of 2003. But not because there was another new journal, or because of how I obtained it.

Change came because it was time for change. God was at work, as he always had been.

The journal was from a friend. I was a groomsman in his wedding, and as a gift, he gave each of us something chosen with each individual in mind. He knew that I had a passion for writing, and so he presented me with a leather-bound journal.

It was a very thoughtful gift, and I was both honored and touched.

But the truth was that, by this point, I hadn’t written in a journal for years. The guilt cycle was so engrained that I’d almost forgotten it was there.

So I thanked my friend and put the journal aside, not really knowing what I would do with it.

In the days and weeks after, I began to wonder if it was time to try again.

After a month, I knew it was. Somehow, I knew it had to be different this time.

It was time to recover.

So, on July 19, 2003, I opened the cover of that leather-bound journal and wrote two words in large print on the page.

“Rehab Journal”

A journal of rehabilitation. A journal of change and growth. Somehow, I knew even then what was taking place. It was the beginning of another chapter. This one with the themes of completion, restoration and redemption.

This time, I knew it was time to finish. And, by finishing, it was time to start something new.

At the time, I had no clue that finishing would take four years…

I stood in the courtyard playground of that child development center in Bonao, hours outside of Santo Domingo and less than a day after arriving in the Dominican Republic (DR), and the sun’s heat felt more like that given off by an interrogation lamp than life-giving warmth.

Why was I really here anyway?

Teasers only here, gotta go to the site to read the rest.

When you’ve read it, leave me a comment there. Or here. Or both. I love comments, and my mom does too. So if you don’t comment for me, do it for her.

And be sure to read the rest of the Compassion blog and leave comments for all of the people who work a lot harder than I do.

What I prefer to read is similar to what I prefer to write.

It sounds simple, but I think the simplicity of that statement hides an important truth about “being yourself” online.

There is far too much attention in the blogosphere paid to churn, traffic, stats, ad revenue and list making.

And while I’m sure those have a place, they aren’t for me. Which is where the truth I shared above comes in. Because if you’re on the blogosphere and you don’t do those things, well, you’re missing out (apparently).

But in the last three years I’ve found freedom as a blogger by discovering that what I like to see is a reflection of what I prefer to present on my own blog. For example, I prefer:

1. Quality over frequency
2. Authenticity over image
3. Discussion over sermon
4. Personality over list making
5. “Who I am” over “what I am doing”¹

I’ve participated in both sides, and the left feels like home. So that’s where I hang my hat.

So how about you? Chances are, you keep on coming here because you feel the same about some of this, but what else is on your list²? What am I missing? What do you agree with?

1. Insert your parallels to “the writing life” and life in general here.
2. Since I prefer discussion over sermon

The first is Compassion’s corporate blog, which just went live today. I’m personally quite excited about this blog and plan to follow it myself. There’s only one post to date, but I know that plenty more are in the cue, so get Compassion’s blog in your reader. I think it’s going to be great. Nice job guys and gals!

The second new blog happens to be a blog from my boss, the venerable and brilliant Brian Houghtaling¹, who is planning to blog from his considerable knowledge of and experience with the Emerging Church movement. He’s posted a few times already since last week and it’s good stuff. So check it out.

Check both out, and give them some comment love…

Compassion’s Blog

One Emergent Missional Journey – Brian’s blog

1. Is it performance review time yet?